by Mark

Who are the traitors?

February 15, 2012 in Essays by Mark

Who is destroying America? Who are the liars and should be tried for treason? Who are the ones who pledged an oath to support “we the people” and instead shot us in the back and stole from our bank accounts, took our homes, jobs and retirement?

Our founding fathers had good intentions while writing the Declaration of Independence and Constitution however, because they could not foresee the future, they could not imagine “how to cover all their bases” and thus the Constitution became a “working document” that should be changed as circumstances unfolded during our nations growth. The Constitution has been changed in the past and now it must be changed again to fulfill its purpose of protecting the American people.

First of all let’s start with a baseline of knowledge from our humble beginnings as a nation. The Declaration of Independence is our starting place, that’s where we became a nation and our founding fathers set the moral compass and/or ethical principles of our nation. The following quote is the crux of our Constitution and Bill of Rights, it is the reason and purpose for all of our laws and principles of justice. It is why this nation exists.

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by Mark

A POEM

December 2, 2011 in Uncategorized by Mark

A POEM

by Mark Snider

I cannot kneel at Gods feet for He is a Spirit

I cannot give God a gift, for He already possesses everything

I cannot meditate, chant or pray long enough for God is eternal

I cannot love God enough for all love comes from Him

But God is perfect in all things and He lives in you and He lives in me

Therefore how I treat you is how I love God

He sees me through your eyes and He hears me through your ears

You are His child and I am your brother

I may not look like you or think like you

But God knows you and loves you and thus, so do I

We are family under the stars and this is our dwelling place

Let us join hand and hearts and rejoice for we have come home

by Mark

Spiritual Attributes

June 20, 2011 in Essays by Mark

CHARACTERISTICS OF THE SPIRITUALLY MATURE

by Mark Snider

  • Views humanity as connected, valuable, as family
  • Shows love, compassion and empathy for others
  • Lacks negative judgment of life and others
  • Is thankful – grateful
  • Listens well, communicates with respect
  • Takes responsibility easily, tends not to blame others even if justified
  • Lack of fear of rejection, failure and even death
  • Builds others up, gives them praise, lets others have the glory and attention
  • Respects all life forms
  • Walks the walk – not hypocritical
  • Gentlemanly in attitude and action
  • Controls thought life, has a positive attitude, self awareness
  • Financial integrity and responsibility, honest in business dealings
  • Forgiving even when undeserved
  • Displays responsibility regarding his physical health, diet and exercise
  • Detachment, lets go easily, lets things just “be”
  • Open minded, tolerant, curious/interested in others
  • Uses his tools such as prayer, meditation, affirmations, Reiki, Yoga, 12 steps
  • Charity, non-violence, concerned for justice, contentment, honesty
  • Problem solver, a bridge builder, one who unites, not divides
  • Avoids negative religion, extremism, racism, caste systems, cults, gangs etc
  • Active community member, gives back to society
  • Non-materialistic, actions based on spiritual truth, not money & personal gain
  • Recognizes “holy books, places, symbols, rituals, crosses, crystals etc as tools or props for man, they have no supernatural power but what we give them
  • Humility – humbleness, knows little but curious of everything
  • Deals with issues of the culture with integrity and honesty without bias such as: woman’s rights, abortion, obedience to those in power such as lawgivers and enforcers, pastors etc, prostitution, slavery, suicide, euthanasia, genetic engineering, sexuality, capital punishment, racism, business ethics, war crimes, military service, free speech, gun laws etc. Does not hide from issues
  • Discerning when to be open, vulnerable, transparent, authentic with others
  • Seeks wisdom and joy rather than recognition, power or money

by Mark

Open Letter To The ACLU

April 27, 2011 in Essays by Mark

Dear ACLU,

It has come to my attention that the intent and purpose of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, including the Bill of Rights is to protect and serve the common good of the people.

Due to shortcomings in our laws, we the people, have allowed our own government to be our masters rather than our servant, and thus the common good of the citizens has been sacrificed to appease large corporations and banking institutions rather than the public.

With a few minor changes in our laws, including the Constitution, we the people may be able to take back what was once a free country. Our founding fathers warned us about this possibility:

Daniel Webster wrote, “…I am committed against any attempt to rule the free people of this county by the power and the patronage of the government itself..”

Thomas Jefferson wrote, “… we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt…”

Samuel Adams wrote, “…though the form of our Constitution carries the face of the most exalted freedom, we shall in reality be the most abject slaves.”

John Adams wrote, “There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt.”

The Declaration of Independence says, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That when any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it….”

It is clear that our government is indeed, “destructive” to the well being of the people it is supposed to serve. The first paragraph of our Constitution says that it was written with “We the people” in mind and that our government is to “secure the blessings of liberty” and “promote the general welfare” for and to the people, not  the corporations, banks, lobbyists and/or politicians.

However, as you well know, the government has allowed the Fed to collude with the bankers to steal from its citizens and thus cause a housing bubble and the current depression, they have started unjust wars and tortured human beings, some of them, citizens of what once was a great nation.

This is supposed to be a free nation as mentioned in Amendment XIII, “…involuntary servitude shall (not) exist within the United States..” And yet, its citizens are made slaves to business and government in the form of inflated prices, government caused debt, unregulated greedy corporations, high interest and unfair taxes that were purposely and unjustly forced upon the citizens of this country by the government, the Fed, lending institutions and large businesses.

Why are the citizens paying for mistakes and greed created by the government and other institutions? The fact is, they owe us.. “we the people” do not owe them, yet we are forced to pay even more for their ineptitude. Many of our citizens have lost their job, house and/or retirement due to immoral policies and practices created by politicians with large salaries and benefits. The rich keep getting richer and the middle class keeps slipping into poverty due to corporate lobbyists, payola and our governments lack of concern for its citizens.

With these things in mind, can you recommend someone either inside your organization or outside to help “we the people”? Amendment I gives us the right “to petition the government for a redress of grievances.” We are tired of political rhetoric and want real change. So where do we start?

by Mark

The Status of the Church

April 27, 2011 in Speeches by Mark

By Mark Snider

“The minister of the Gospel is really the yardstick by which the nation measures its morals.”

In other words, to understand the the morals and character of the nation one can look at the condition and performance of the pastors and church ministry. If they are doing well then the nations morals are in good shape. If these ministers have joined the ranks of the “world”, then the nations morals are doing poorly indeed since these people are paid to behave and do good and help people  avoid “sin”..

However,there is an alarming rate of incidences where pastors and ministers of various denominations have abused their privilege and power for their own financial gain or to satisfy their own agenda or addictions and twisted sexual desires.

Take for example, the author of the above quote, Jimmy Swaggart. Swaggart was having sex with a prostitute, Debra Murphree in 1988. He denied the allegations, then later admitted to them and repented. In 1991 police found Swaggart with another prostitute, Rosemary Garcia. In 2004 Swaggart threatened to kill homosexuals, “I’ve never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry… if one ever looks at me like that, I’m going to kill him and tell God he died.” Jimmy Swaggart’s ethics included repeated relationships with prostitutes, death threats, he lied to his followers and even stated his intentions of lying to God.

Is Swaggart’s behavior an isolated event or is there a trend that is occurring in our pastors and ministers? Perhaps we should take a look at some more facts.

Oral Roberts has been accused of payola, and of faking miracles and healings. According to Carroll Stegall, a Presbyterian Pastor, Roberts paid three phony doctors to testify that his healings were real. Jerry Sholes, a former employee, charges Roberts with deception and hypocrisy. Roberts has an extravagant lifestyle that rivals those of the rich and famous. In 1987 he told his followers he had seen Jesus and was told that if he didn’t raise 8 million dollars in one year he would die. The “O Timothy” magazine says this about Roberts, “It is obvious that Roberts is a deceiver and a false prophet. He prophecies have been proven wrong time and again. Sadly, he has deceived multitudes with his lying words… and has robbed God’s people of hundreds of millions of dollars…”

In another scandal, Jim Bakker with the “Praise The Lord” ministries admitted to having sex with the church secretary, Jessica Hahn. He was dismissed by the Assemblies of God for “conduct unbecoming to a minister”. In 1989 Bakker was convicted of 24 counts of fraud and conspiracy for bilking believers of 3.7 million dollars that he put to his own personal use. Some charges originated from misappropriation of money from a Christian resort called the Heritage Village. Bakker was guilty of immoral sexual behavior, fraud, conspiracy, lying, and misappropriation of money that was given to his trust by his followers.

Swaggart, Roberts and Bakker are unfortunately just the tip of the iceberg.

Another church leader, Kent Hovind of Creation Science Evangelism Ministry was convicted of 58 counts of tax related offenses. In addition, his organization sold millions of dollars worth of Christian merchandise but was unlicensed to do so. His ministry wasn’t even registered as a non-profit but continued to do business as if it were. Hovind has been charged with other offenses such as assault and battery, falsely claiming bankruptcy, threatening law enforcement officers, filing false complaints, failing to get building permits and tax evasion. His ministry is accused of teaching misleading and deceptive information in their representation of geological history and using false or flawed science.

Or take Larry Davis, pastor of First Baptist Church, who pled guilty of charges stemming from misappropriation of church funds that he used for his own enrichment and for racetrack gambling. Because he lied about his illegal activities his devout supporters ousted those who questioned his character and the church split. Sadly, the elders who reported his fraud were suspended. Davis was later convicted of falsifying loan applications, tax evasion and misappropriation of church funds.

Douglas Goodman’s extravagant lifestyle rivaled the wealthiest businessmen. He was convicted of misconduct and mismanagement of church funds. When allegations from dozens of women about sexual misconduct and rape occurred, he denied the allegations. In retaliation, his loyal church supporters poured acid on the faces of his accusers.

You may remember Peter Popoff who faked miracle cures and healings and who made millions with his lies and deceptions? His wife used a hidden microphone to gain information from people prior to the service and then passed the information along to Peter who claimed he had heard from the Lord. Peter sold “miracle spring water” to his followers to cure illness and solve financial problems. He is accused of a fraudulent scheme to send money to Russia for which he had received kickbacks.

Televangelist, Ted Whittington was convicted of money laundering, mail fraud, conspiracy and interstate transportation of stolen property.

Ted Haggard has repeatedly used methamphetamine and admitted to having sex with a male prostitute named Mike Jones. At first, Haggard lied and tried to cover up his behavior while preaching at church against the gay lifestyle. However, on his off time he reveled in it.

According to Glenn Rupple and John Stussel of ABC News, Kenneth Copeland of Kenneth Copeland Ministries asked followers to cough up 20 million for a jet and promised that the plane “will never, ever be used as long as it is in our care, for anything other than what is becoming to you, Lord Jesus.” However, the jet, including the Copeland entourage, flew to Australia, then to Maui, then to Fiji and even took them to nearby Steamboat Springs Ski Resort. It also took them to a Texas exotic hunting ranch so Copeland could kill a few rare animals. I tried to find examples of this lifestyle in the life of Jesus and/or His followers but could not find an example in my Bible. Are these holidays for the Copeland’s  “becoming” to Jesus? Unfortunately, this circus of deceit and poor moral fiber has become our model to the world of Christianity.

Rusty Leonard of Ministry Watch has tracked and published the transparency of many ministries such as Benny Hinn Ministries, Bible Broadcasting Network, John Hagee Ministries, Kenneth Copeland Ministries, TD Jakes Ministries and Trinity Broadcasting Network (Paul and Jan Crouch) and has rated them total failures in their financial transparency. This means, at best, they are not accountable for many millions of dollars with which they spend on the lavish lifestyles of their questionable leaders. Unfortunately, there is a long list of deceptive and/or questionable ministries. Ministry Watch has taken great care to be fair to these ministries and it is disheartening to know many so-called Christian organizations have purposefully chosen to practice unethical business practices and enriched themselves at the expense of their brothers and sisters in Christ.

Of course, we are not even listing the thousands of cases of pedophile and sexual predator cases against a multitude of priests and pastors of various Christian faiths. The fact is, even the small churches and ministries, the ones in which most of us attend, have severe and ominous problems with their morals and in the way they conduct their business and decision making policies.

Are the solutions to poor business ethics and personal immorality such as fraud, sexual misconduct and embezzlement to be found in our spiritual leaders or pastors or churches? According to the activities just listed, I think not. It is like asking the Nazis to question Hitlers morality, it just doesn’t happen. There is no accountability and no supervision, so many so called Christian leaders take advantage or their position.

Business and politicians control and rule us by laws and standards they do not live up to.  Unfortunately, our churches and religious organizations have adopted the same logic and systems of doing business and can offer no advice or solution unless they make drastic changes in the way these organizations are being managed. These hypocrites need to lead by example, not by what they preach.

The leaders of most businesses work to satisfy their cravings for power, money and influence and do so at any cost. The church unfortunately has chosen to imitate this world rather than rebel against it. If Swaggart’s quote, “The minister of the Gospel is really the yardstick by which the nation measures it’s morals” has any truth to it then we are in deep trouble.

It is my personal experience that the immoral and unethical practices of our church leaders are systemic. Furthermore, it is my contention that they have no right to preach to others regarding morality, ethics or personal conduct for they are part of a corrupt and immoral religious system bent on controlling and manipulating believers to “fill the pews” or for personal gain, power or other psychological needs.

In order to make this point, let’s look at some more facts regarding pastors. In April 2011, pastor Julio Perez was arrested for recruiting two men from his congregation and killed his wife. Pastor James Webb at the Antioch Baptist Church in Berkley was arrested for stealing $21,000 from his employer. Associate Pastor Stephen Berry of The New Life Baptist Church in Union SC was arrested for lewd acts on a child under 16. Pastor Jason Phillips at Covenant Community Fellowship was arrested for multiple sexual assaults on girls under 16. Pastor Owen Davis of Faith Lutheran Church was arrested for sexually assaulting a woman and video taping it. Pastor Tommy Pitts of Midway Assembly of God was arrested for molestation of 3 children. Pastor Thomas Kreiser was arrested for stealing $25,000 from Rockland County Roman Catholic Church. Pastor Royce Shorter of the Greater New Bethal Missionary Baptist was arrested for multiple rapes. Pastor Ricky Hawes of the Good Shepherd Lutheran Church turned himself in after stealing $127,000 from his church. The list is enormous.

These leaders are admitted “born again, spirit filled” followers of Jesus. They have the baptismal records to prove it, they have the authority of their title and the certificate from their school of divinity, they had the blessings of the church they serve and have many people supporting them as being anointed by God.

It is obvious that pastors and church leaders are no better ethically or morally than their followers, non-believers or believers of another faith. Most pastors judge, condemn and punish others for their shortcomings yet retain in secret their own. They bicker and put down other denominations of the same faith.  Not one has taken the log out of their own eye, yet they tell others they are sinners and doomed to hell if they do not follow the advice they advocate.

This is my personal experience, my former pastor, James Fillingame admonished me not to read letters of many other church members exposing his misdeeds and that one should not “take up the cause of another”. Later, when I told him the Worship Pastor, Tony Cena admitted stealing thousands of dollars from me, he said, “That was just business”. And when I divorced my wife after many miserable years, he threatened me saying “If you leave your wife, I will use the whole weight of the Church against you”. And he did and began procedures to force me out. I was treated like a “heathen” and the elders and church members alike ignored, once more,  his mean, unforgiving and hypocritical judgement.

One can reason that because of this mistreatment and the poor record already stated, I have a grudge against pastors and, due to this, am writing an unfavorable report about them. It may have been true a few years ago, but time heals and every religion asks us to forgive others. Hopefully, I have done so. Unfortunately, my former pastor nor the worship pastor has ever repented from what harm they have done. Neither one has gone trough a restoration process and are today more than likely still stealing and hurting other Christians and drawing shame to Christianity.

All of this has finally helped me see pastors as they really are. They are just men, like all others, no better and no worse. They have no powers, anointing or special status before God. They certainly are not “holy” anymore than “holy water” or “holy cows”. However, because of what they publicly advocate and their position of authority and leadership, they need to change. They are paid to be decent people and so far have failed miserably. Hence this essay.

I cannot count the number of religious people including leaders who when upon hearing of someones misfortune say they will pray for the situation or individual. However, few of them have actually reached out and offered to help with the problem.

Most religious people, including pastors, when hearing of the misfortune of others justify the persons troubles saying God must be punishing the person or it is Gods will that one loses his home or family for some greater good or some reward in the future or in heaven. An example is when hurricane Katrina destroyed much of New Orleans, many pastors preached that it was Gods vengeance due to the wickedness of the city.

Trite religious sayings, dogma, prayer and Bible quotes will not feed a hungry child nor fix a leaking roof. Unfortunately, just as in any religion or philosophy, it takes a human being to be the answer of prayer. Honestly,  I would rather have two hands helping me than a thousand just praying for me.

Most Christians pastors have no oversight and no one to hold them accountable. They have turned to the dark side of both humanity and religion because no one is looking and no one has authority over them. There is nothing preventing them from imitating the world rather than Gods love and mercy, it is human nature turned against God and they don’t even know it. Most have a log in their eye the size of the Vatican.

Gandhi said the following: “I like your Christ. I do not like Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” This is so obvious to the world, yet completely ignored by Christian leaders and most lay people, it is a shame. They have turned Love into a religion and a way for personal gain instead of an example to imitate in their own life. Even the Catholic Church has stated that the Republican Party is anti-Christian in its treatment and attitude towards  society.

The first step to help heal this situation is is recognize where it comes from. Most of it comes from the “far right” or “conservative” side for they do most of the preaching, judging and hating. Their leaders must start to imitate the founder of their faith in all they say, do and think. That is, to love others and treat others as they would like to be treated. When that occurs, Christianity will be validated as a moral or ethical religion, although many would say hell may freeze over first.

The second thing any pastor or church must do to get Christianity back on track is to hold each other accountable. For example, we as a society ask the Muslim community to kick the terrorists out. So why do we allow liars, cheats and unkind and ungodly people in church leadership? The reason is they know how to play church, they sound very religious and they organize and propagate religion and create a business out of it. They like the status quo and hold on to traditional precepts and expectations of what a church should be like which in turn allows them to get away with more and more misdeeds.

Those who do not mirror the love of Christ must be turned out of leadership until they learn to abide in love. Truly, the first will be last at the time of judgment. Those who tend towards division, hatred, superiority, unforgiveness, judgment, condemnation and other negative behavior or thinking is ungodly;  for God, according to the Bible, is love. A true pastor and man of God cannot preach hate or take advantage of others and at the same time say he knows or loves God.

According to the Bible, there is only one “Bride of Christ”, one church, the true church. So why do we have man made denominations vying for members and fighting each others theology? Because of mans selfish nature for power, money and ego that justifies separation rather than unity. This should not be so.

Another thing pastors should do is teach and lead as Christ did, by example, by forgiving others and accepting others as Christ did, even those who denied Him or spat on Him at the Cross. They should be examples of the Good Samaritan and the woman at the well rather than agents of wrath, judgment and negativity. They do not yet know what is it to have a servants heart.

If Christian leaders and pastors repented of their self serving power trips and obvious hypocrisy, Gandhi and others would say, “I like your Christ. I like your Christians. They are so much like Him. Tell me, how can I become one.”

by Jay

A Perfect World

March 29, 2011 in Speeches by Jay

by Jay Toups

In a perfect world, a universal remote control would control the universe. Now wouldn’t that be an invention for the ages?

Humans have gotten rid of trash, sewer sludge, and biomass by either dumping, burying, or burning it for as long as we’ve had opposable thumbs and enough breeding and decorum to realize that sleeping anywhere near a pile of poop or two-week-old leftovers was not okay.  Especially for Mrs. Cavewoman.

As well all know, waste happens, and humanity’s impact on this perfect world began the day Adam and Eve tossed a partially eaten apple on the ground, and then were tossed out of the Garden of Eden.

It’s basically been downhill for the environment ever since, and the pace is accelerating.

Not much bad happened to the global environment for 19 centuries. Oh, there were deforestations, droughts, famines, plagues, and a lot of looting, pillaging and burning of villages and so forth, but the health of the planet remained largely good for nearly 20 centuries.

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by Mark

How To Treat The Woman You Love

March 3, 2011 in Speeches by Mark

speech by Mark Snider

After Mark’s three daughters got married, he wondered if his son-in-laws knew how to treat a woman. Now he must, as in his other speeches, attempt to live up to his own standards.

Fellow husbands and “significant others,” we have been confused,  misinformed and thus fallen short in regards how to treat the women we love. So please pay attention and remember how to treat and behave toward the woman you say you love:

Adhere firmly and closely to her, cleave to her with unwavering loyalty. Be a one woman kind of guy in every way. Celebrate life with her and make sure she is happy. Give her reason to have a positive outlook with her relationship with you.

Learn to laugh. Find humor in daily living. Be fun, safe and exciting to be with. Sacrifice and provide for her, satisfy her needs and desires, develop a servant’s heart.

Intentionally become familiar with her and gain knowledge about her through experience and association, be understanding of her personality, values, be aware of her thoughts and preferences.

As far as you are concerned, she is privileged, show respect, recognition, courtesy, deference and deal with integrity, put her first, be mature enough to be a “gentleman.” A gentleman is a person who is kind and honorable and makes others feel comfortable and accepted.

Keep her “clean” feeling, do not dishonor her, do not make her feel ashamed, incompetent or dirty. No name calling, threats, violence or condescending comments.

Find happiness in what she wants to give and build on it.

Be honest with your partner. Tell the truth. Keep your word. If you say you will home for diner, be there, if you say you agree with the words,”for richer or poorer, in sickness and heath, til death do we part”, keep your word. Don’t be a liar, be someone who stands by his word. Don’t make promises unless you will keep keep them.

Learn to listen. Respect her by listening well and communicating back. Be open and honest. If you can’t tell her the truth, why are you together? Respect her feelings and thoughts and take them into account, especially her thoughts about of you.

Avoid too many sports, hobbies, friendships and TV that would separate you. Help plan special events and family time. Make her #1 by spending quality time with her.

Respect and serve her family and friends. Treat them like yours or better. If you are a father, be a very good one. Be fair and kind.

Remember, love is an action, do things for her around the house, do the dishes and vacuuming. Make sure you are behind her in every way. Call the service people, wash the car, make repairs around the house and do it with a smile.

Make sure your actions speak louder than your words. Don’t say “I love you” without action to make it real and true.

Think of little things to do or say that will brighten her day, lift her spirits and heart. Few women reject flowers, a small token of affection, a kind word and help with the dishes. Holding her hand is sometimes the high spot of her day, make sure it is your hand that is constantly reaching for hers.

Ask yourself daily, “What have I done for my relationship today? And “If I want her to be my best friend and soul mate, have I been that for her?”

Let her know you adore and cherish her, and even when there are differences make sure you let her know she is far more important than whatever the problem is.

Let her know you are on her team and together the problem will be handled equitably with her in mind. Show more love than you verbalize so your words ring true.

Be an example for her to emulate, don’t, through default, make her the moral compass of the house. Always love her more than she loves you, never make her feel used, neglected or forgotten.

Make deposits in her “love bank” daily. Find her sweet spot, what she likes and seek out and help provide those things. Speak her love language. If she likes a certain candy, flower or words of affirmation etc., make sure she has enough around to make her smile.

Develop a sense of empathy. Put yourself in her shoes. Women are different than men and most of them really like what is referred as “romance”. Romance is not foreplay or sex. It is an attitude that allows women to feel “cherished”. When women feel cherished it touches their emotions in a positive way and they feel loved.  Men, be a romantic. Say loving things, compliment your woman, light candles, bring home some flowers or a small gift that is “impractical”, it is a token of your affection. Give her a chance to be attracted to you and you will build a lasting relationship.

Help her financially, materially, psychologically, sexually and spiritually to be satisfied. Encourage her to participate in relationship building activities such as classes and books. And don’t just read them, commit to live them. Be teachable.

Help her say to others with pride, “That’s my man!” by taking pride in yourself; clean it up gentlemen.

Take responsibility gracefully.

Be honest. Tell the truth. Be a man of your word. If you say you will be home at 6:00, be there. If you say you agree with the words, ” In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, til death do we part” then keep your promise. Don’t be a liar. Don’t say something and not do it, stand behind your word even to your own hurt.

Do not try to control her with psychology or Scripture instead use these tools to support her.

Remember too that some women are anxious, fearful or worry about things. This is so because men have not always been responsible or kind. When the person you love asks if the back door is locked or the windows are rolled up, check them and make sure they are. Part of your job as a protector is to alleviate these feelings. Do not ignore them or be the cause of them. Be responsible so she can feel secure.

Although you cannot build a pedestal high enough for her, when she falls from it, make sure to help her back up without criticism. Words of judgment, condemnation or disdain should not cross your lips.

Free her from unnecessary restrictions and rules, help her satisfy her curiosity and encourage her to live a full and satisfying life.

Do not hold a record of wrongs or hurt, instead practice forgiveness even if it is undeserved. And if there is problem you want to address that concerns her, talk to her straightforward with kindness and compassion rather than frustration and anger. Address the problem rather than blame any person.

And when a man and woman become “one flesh,” make sure to avoid things that divide you and seek out and cling to the things that unite you. It is up to you whether your relationship will stand the test of time or fail.

Do not make your actions and feelings dependent upon how you feel you are being treated, act as if it does not matter, be a man that can take life as it comes, don’t be petty or whine about the small stuff.

Be someone who stands on doing  the kind and right thing even when your ego tells you that you deserve better treatment or more recognition or “what will I get out of it.” What makes you think you are more deserving or better than your wife or girl friend?

Do the best you can and adhere to these general guidelines voluntarily, set high standards for yourself, not others. When you fail to live up to treating her like you want to be treated, ask for forgiveness, mean it and get back on the right path.

When you become selfish or fall short of treating her like she deserves, like we all deserve, now is the time to lift yourself up to a higher consciousness level built and aimed to serve and please the other person. Chose to practice selfless and loving actions rather than negative and selfish ones.

Avoid thoughts that would make you think acting in these ways is a sacrifice or a burden. That is your selfish interests or ego telling you to be unhappy.  Instead, make it a free and conscious choice, thus acting out of an abundance of love for others, a love for your relationship and a love for life. Chose to be a giver, not a taker. Are you that needy or selfish that you cannot be kind to the one that you love?

We all recognize with ease immature thought and irresponsible behavior in others, yet it remains unseen in ourselves even when we look closely in the mirror. So be self conscious about yourself, yet not rigid or uncomfortable, these ” rules” and principles are goals, not laws. Do your best to attain these goals because of the type of man you are, not what type of woman she is.

Brothers, you and I will at times fail to live up to these standards, but there are very few excuses for not attempting to do the right thing. Don’t give up on yourself by not attempting these goals and thus disrespect the greatest gift in life we will ever receive, a person to love and hopefully love us.

Remember this, sometimes we forget how special she is until she is gone. Be aware, be wise, be thankful for what you have, become responsible and “mature” , be a kind and loving part of humanity, set an example.

If you attempt to love a woman in the above ways, she would love it and she would, no doubt,  love the person who shows her this kind of respect. Why? Because she also knows that only a person who loves her deeply would attempt to treat her in these ways.

And that, in my opinion, is how a man should treat the woman he loves.

Happy Epiphany

February 1, 2011 in Speeches by Jon Bradbury

by Jon Bradbury

Did you know that January 6th is a time of celebration for many Christians, known as the Feast Of The Epiphany?

Some Western churches commemorate this day as the arrival of the Magi (or three wise men) to the birth place of Jesus as a baby. And a few Eastern churches commemorate this date as the baptism date of Jesus as a man.

These celebrations may include fasting from January 1st to the 5th then feasting from January 6th for the next 8 days. Others may celebrate just one day with plenty of feasting.

In both instances it is a day of remembrance and a reminder of the dictionary definition of “epiphany”, which is:

1: The manifestation of supernatural or divine reality.

2: Any moment of great or sudden revelations or a spirit manifestation.

3: The intuitive perception of-or insight into the essential meaning of something.

In other words, an epiphany is when a SHIFT or CHANGE in increased consciousness and/or awareness occurs.

An epiphany can also be likened to an “aha” moment, or be depicted in a cartoon with the proverbial “light bulb” turning on overhead.

Some of you have seen the bumper sticker that says stuff happens only spelled differently? I would like to restate and correct that by saying to “change happens”.

Could we say that when a change happens we have the opportunity to take advantage of those changes? It is a matter of attitude and perspective, both of which is our choice.

Some of us go into hiding our faces and go away thinking, “I don’t want to change”, “I don’t like changes” or I’m not interested in changing”.

Do you know of someone like I do who is a believer in “Murphy s Law”? That law says “If anything can go wrong, it will” And another extension of that is like, “Waiting for the other shoe to drop” or “Bad things happen in threes”. Or “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it.”

Believers in these superstitions or negative mindsets, which are really not “laws” at all, help us to explain, why many people are afraid or resist change rather than embrace it.

There are many so called Universal Laws or principles in life that we live under that are beyond our control. They work independently of our opinion or superstitions about them and they work even if we don’t understand them or know of their existence.

The one I will key in on here is, “There is only one constant in the universe and that is change.” If something can change, it will, because we live in an eternal universe that is always changing, is always exciting and dynamic and in a scale far bigger than we perceive.

Did you ever notice how some people watch change happen, some people make change happen and others wonder what happened?

I was a truck driver for over thirty years, traveling the highways and byways of our great country.

Epiphanies can be like truck driving. They always give us a bigger picture, a larger perspective and a grander view of the road of life we are traveling, because the scenery is always changing.

Sometimes we truck divers get detoured or scared wondering things like, “Is this trailer going to fit under that bridge?”

Once in a while we get lost and off the beaten path. Also I might mention that fears arise during some of the most horrific weather, but we challenge these fears by keeping on; one mile at a time, one day at a time and one week at a time.

Like shifting gears in a truck or on a spiritual path where everything depends on a shift in consciousness and everyone discovers these truths in one of two ways:

The first way is through epiphanies, those “aha” moments that might include a flash of understanding or deep realization or a revelation or a divine synchronization. Spending a week in silence at a meditation retreat or spending two years at Walden Pond near Concord, Massachusetts can lead to may extraordinary epiphanies.

The second way is through chaos. Examples of this might be the untimely death of a loved one or a near death experience of your own.

In 2005 the very “X” rated movie “Crash” won three Academy awards. This movie included stories and scenes of grotesque violence and absolutely obscene vulgarities about chaos.

Epiphanies can also be likened to a “follow the dots” books you read as a child. Each “aha” dot would be connected to the next and to the next until the bigger picture comes into view. Will you chose to let your epiphanies be stepping stones like in the book or will you chose for them to be stumbling blocks? You get to chose!

As for me, I’m going to follow the dots and “Jon’s” Law and not Murphys. My law says:

If anything can go right, it will and does, and at the most appropriate time.

It will never anyone’s fault because that is just principle in action.

If everything seems to be going wrong, you have obliviously overlooked something.

Things will only get better! As a helpful reminder to myself and to you too about all of this, I think back to 1988 and Micheal Jackson’s famous song “Man In The Mirror. Some of the words I like to remember are:

I’m starting with me

I’m starting with the man in the mirror

I’m asking him to change his ways

I’m asking him to make a change

It’s going to feel real good

If you want to make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself and then make a change

Just lift yourself up you know

You’ve got to stop it yourself

You’ve got to move

You’ve got to stand up and lift yourself

Make that change!

Happy epiphanies on all your roads through life and may you manifest the essential meaning of all you perceive.

by Mark

The Tree

December 26, 2010 in Speeches by Mark

By Mark Snider

There is a meadow of green grass. In the middle is a magnificent tree with green leaves blowing gently in the wind.

A man walks into the meadow and sees the tree. Suddenly he falls to his knees and exclaims, “Thank you God for answering my prayers for firewood. It is just as I dreamed, a large tree that I can bring my trailer right up next to for easy loading… now I will have heat for myself and family this winter, thank you Jesus!”

Later, another man discovers the tree. His eyes open wide and he says to himself, “A picture of this tree belongs on the cover of Nature Magazine. It is perfect in every way, symmetry, location and health. And several species of birds and squirrels and other animals make it their home. It’s roots keep the soil from eroding and its leaves give shade to wild horses and elk… and the leaves act as fertilizer for the surrounding ground. It is indeed a one of a kind natural wonder.”

Later, as fate would have it, another man finds the tree and runs up to it and hugs it’s huge trunk. He exclaims, “I feel its energy, the tree’s resonance and spirit speak to me. Several spirit beings including a family of fairies and several angels inhabit this tree. Also the tree tells me aliens from another dimension have landed nearby and have used this area as a resting spot. My spirit guide and the spirits of the earth, wind and water tell me they have blessed this tree for many years and this is indeed, sacred ground on many levels.”

Finally, another man sees the tree and says, “I am going home to get my brother and my chainsaw. I will cut this damn tree down and take it to a nearby mill and easily get $400.00. Now I will have enough money for a keg of beer and a bag of pot for my party next week.

The tree did not change, however these men put their own spin on its nature, its value and its usage. They have made the tree, more than a tree, it has become something to satisfy their understanding of God, the universe and their own needs and personality, thus no longer just a tree.

So it is with reality. Reality has not changed. However, during the course of time and in various locations around the world, men put their spin on what they see and it becomes something other than a tree, something more than reality. For one person it is Gods gift, to another a natural wonder, to another it is spirit and energy and finally to another it is a way to acquire wealth and selfish ambition.

And so it is with all we see and do. The stars and other natural elements, from quasars to quantum physics and all of life. Man puts his spin on it and it becomes something other than reality, it become “supernatural” or spiritual.  It becomes what ever his education, societal programming and personality make it, but what we think of, is not reality, it has been spun into something other than reality by us… it is now something for our our own gratification and self identification. We group together with like minded people and congratulate ourselves on our heightened vibration rate or god-like character and we reject any opposing explanations or ideas.

There are very few people who understand and are satisfied with reality being what it is without spin, interpretation and bias. We either give credit to a God, mother nature or cosmic consciousness so it can be manipulated, worshiped, understood or destroyed to satisfy our own ego, ambition, fears and self made realities.

A spiritually mature person will be aware of his own spin and challenge his assumptions and he will respect the reality of others as he would like his own respected. He will be aware that a few hundred years from now, people will look back on what he thought as quaint or backwards, just as we do now for gods and ideas worshiped or practiced by the Aztecs, Mayans, Incas, African witchdoctors, Norse deities and many others.

This is true in our own lifetime as fads go in and out of style such as seances, pyramids, crystals and other new age gadgets and theories. Like the miracle healing ministries of Peter Popoff and others, they all fall short of reality except in the minds of believers who reject information that may contradict their own thoughts as they collect information that correlates with theirs, thus validating their own point of view. If this were not so, we would all agree, but we don’t, because we refuse to understand and tolerate other viewpoints.

An open minded person will see things for what they are and find them  beautiful and acceptable without turning them into something other than what it is, and he will accept the reality of others without judgment. This unbias witness will know truth, joy and awarness, for he avoids putting spin on reality. He will have compassion for all mankind and he will be thankful for the variety and choices set before him… a banquet of mental and spiritual challenges and games, many of which is self created. Whether he walks either pavement or meadow, he notices the tree who’s leaves are blowing in the wind… and smiles.

by Mark

Kindness

December 14, 2010 in Speeches by Mark

KINDNESS

BY MARK SNIDER

There is one attribute that stands out among the many as the most important. It is kindness.

Here are the problems: #1 we as a species, decide who and who will not get health care, who and who will not get an education, who and who will not make money and who will starve, most of these decisions are arbitrary and unfair. #2 And we disagree, argue about and even kill each other over such things as; politics, immigration, skin color, foreign policy and religion. #3 And have you noticed that there are many more unkind people than just a few years ago? And would you believe, saying unkind things on the radio can make you rich and famous?

The amazing thing about kindness is, it is not a secret, you don’t have to buy a book or take a course on a particular spiritual practice or listen to a sermon… All of us have been instructed since kindergarten to play nicely, to share our toys, to be nice to others and be good boys and girls.

The problem is, few of us put it into practice, we are not doing what we were told since childhood! So, what do others and our society tell us about kindness?

Buddhism tells us to let go of hatred and ignorance and accept imperfection and the impermanence of all things. Buddhism promotes compassion, awareness, insight, tolerance, respect and loving kindness towards others. Followers; about 300 million.

Christianity teaches us to be loving people, to love everyone, even our enemies. It teaches us to be patient, kind and forgiving, not envious, irritable, judgmental or resentful. It tells us to do good works towards others. Followers; about 2 billion.

Alternative belief systems or practices such as the New Age movement, enlightenment, Humanism, Shamanism and various forms of spirituality are also popular options with millions of followers. Although the tenets of these thought systems are very broad, most of them help us to attain self knowledge, wisdom, open-mindedness, insight, awareness, compassion and acceptance of others.

The proponents of these alternative thought systems have similar guiding principles as most religions……………… Here are a few quotes:

Dr. David Hawkins said, “ Simple kindness to all that lives is the most transformational force of all. Make a gift of your life and lift all mankind by being kind, considerate, forgiving and compassionate under all conditions… this is the greatest gift anyone can give.”

The Dali Lama said, “This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple, the philosophy is kindness”.

Leading Atheists and Humanists have something to say too.

Bertrand Russel said, “A good world needs knowledge, kindness and courage”.

The American Humanist Association tells us, “Humanism is a rational philosophy informed by science, inspired by art and motivated by compassion.”

Robert Ingersol said, “Intelligence guided by kindness, is the highest wisdom.” and “The way to happiness is to make others so.”

Albert Einstein said, “The ideals that have lighted my way and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully have been kindness, beauty and truth.”

The major religions of the world, the major spiritual movements and the

leaders of both Humanists and Atheists agree that kindness, love and compassion are the cornerstones of any religion or spirituality and human ethics and morality.

No one can be a faithful or respectable Christian, Atheist, humanist or spiritual person without love, compassion and kindness towards others.

Therefore, I humbly submit to you that no matter what you believe, no matter what society or era you were born, no matter what your political party, personal experience, religion or lack thereof, the proof or verification of your ideas and words are found in the kindness and love in your thoughts, speech and deeds towards others. If kindness is not formost in your beliefs, thoughts and actions, you have missed the boat.

So, before you endorse any idea, mindset, philosophy, religion or personal opinion, be on high moral ground. You may think that you are okay… and what you advocate is correct if you have a higher “frequency” than others, can remember hundreds of past lives, have encounters with aliens, receive communications from spirits, or hear the voice of God Himself, but I have news for you… without kindness and compassion towards others you and what you endorse or espouse, at best, are on very shaky ground.

So, I ask you to join and agree with the leading Atheists, Humanists, Christians, Buddhists, Hindu, New Agers and enlightenment aficionados. Resist believing, following or endorsing anything philosophical, supernatural, mystical, spiritual or any religious system or thought pattern UNLESS you put  love, compassion and kindness towards others at the top of your list.

This means, think kind thoughts towards others without judgment or criticism. Say good things to and about others, build others up and encourage them. Do good works or deeds to and for others, support others with your effort and time.

If kindness and love is your guide, you will be on high moral ground, you will be on the right path and your words will ring true and what you have to say will have meaning, practical value and significance that will stand the test of time and possibly the judgment of God.

Kindness alone will not stamp out all “evil” because the heart of man is imperfect and flawed with selfish ambition, induced hatred, and ideological, political and religious dogma that divides one person against another, even unto death. This should not be so.

It is up to you, every single day, which side of the line to stand on. You will either stand on the side that includes Hitler, Pol Pot, Mussolini, Jeffery Dalmer, The Taliban and Saddam Hussein or you will stand on side with Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Billy Graham, Dr. David Hawkins, the Red Cross and John Kennedy.

If we were to look at your life as it stands today, are you sure others would know which side you stand on? How close to the line are you?

So, I ask everyone here: Who and who will not be kind? Who and who will not have compassion on others? Who and who will not treat others as they would be liked to be treated?

It’s your decision! And that decision determines who you really are… either kind or unkind…minute by minute… everyday of the week. It is no secret, kindness is the Way. It is the universal or Godly path that has been set as a standard for others….. it should be the one we set for ourselves.

Whether our time is fleeting or eternal, practicing human kindness is the only hope we have until something better comes along.